Category: General Weirdness

Thanks to Kay W. for sending this. You know it’s going to be a bad day if you walk outside and see this….

This is Chapter 13 of the Fire Officer’s Guide to Disaster Control Second Edition, as published in 1992. This is a real book and this is an actual chapter from that book.

CHAPTER 13: ENEMY ATTACK AND UFO POTENTIAL

FEW RESIDENTS of the United States, except for those in Hawaii, have experienced an enemy attack on their hometown in this century; some think they have. The Great Los Angeles Air Raid of February 26, 1942, began at 2:25 A.M. when the US Army announced the approach of hostile aircraft and the cities air raid warning system went into effect for the first time in World War II. “Suddenly the night was rent by sirens. Searchlights began to sweep the sky. Minutes later gun crews at Army forts along the coast line began pumping the first of1,433 rounds of ack-ack into the moonlight. Thousands of volunteer air raid wardens tumbled from their beds and grabbed their boots and helmets. Citizens awakened to the screech of sirens and, heedless of the blackout warning, began snapping on their lights . . . The din continued for two hours. Finally the guns fell silent. The enemy, evidently, had been routed. Los Angeles began to taste the exhilaration of its first military victory. “(1)

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THE UFO THREAT–A FACT

In this chapter we will now turn our attention to the very real threat posed by Unidentified Flying Objects (UFOs), whether they exist or not. The well-documented and highly publicized War of the Worlds radio drama by Orson Welles shows how even a perceived existence to alien creatures can cause very real disaster-like conditions and panic among a given populace. In addition, if the apparent visits by alien beings and their space vehicles should pose any type of threat, it will, as always, be the fire service that is called upon to provide the first line of life-saving defense and disaster mitigation. Continue reading “Fire Officer’s Guide to Disaster Control: Chapter 13”

To keep in the Christmas spirit, here are the lyrics to Leary’s famous seasonal song. Sing along now!

Old St. Nick’s got bourbon breath,
It’s so cold you could catch your death,
A cop just sold me some crystal meth,
It’s a Merry F&*#@!g Christmas.

Everything’s so Christmassy,
The streets are twinkling with frozen pee,
My priest just sat on Santa’s knee,
It’s a Merry F&*#@!g Christmas.

(chorus)
All the kids go to bed each night, to dream what Santa brings ’em,
Unless you’re jewish or muslim or some other gyp religion.

Crappy toys flying off the shelves,
Midgets dress up to look like elves,
Spread good cheer or burn in hell,
It’s a Merry F&*#@!g Christmas.

(chorus)

Crackling fire to keep me warm,
And my collection of asian porn,
Cradle my bells and work my horn,
It’s a keep on trucking, last year’s sucking,
Midget chucking, slap the puck in,
How much wood could a woodchuck chucking,
Merry F&*#@!g Christmas!